Manners In Islam

[Mujaahid]

MANNERS IN ISLAM:

The Messenger of Allah used to say:
The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.

(Related by al-Bukhari)

Rasulullah said: There is none heavier in the scales of the Hereafter than good character,

(Hadith narrated by al-Tirmidhi and Abu Daud).

Rasulullah also mentioned: Bad manners are a misfortune.

(Hadith narrated by Imam Ahmad).

A Muslim is one whom other people are safe from his tongue and his hand.

(Hadith narrated by Bukhari).


...Abu Darda' reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one's good manners."


Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #271, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, and Ibn Hibban.


Abu Huraira, r.a., said, "I heard Abu al Qasim (the Prophet saaws), say, 'The best among you in Islam are those with the best manners, so long as they develop a sense of understanding.' "[/color]


Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #286 and Ahmad


... 'Abd Allah ibn 'Amr said, "The Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, was never obscene or coarse. Rather, he used to tell us that the best among us were those with the best manners."


Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, and Tirmidhi

... Anas said, "I served the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, for ten years. During that time, he never once said to me as much as 'Oof' if I did something wrong. He never asked me, if I had failed to do something, 'Why did you not do it?,' and he never said to me, if I had done something wrong, 'Why did you do it?' "


Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim and Ahmad


... Abu Huraira, r.a., said that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "If one has good manners, one may attain the same level of merit as those who spend their nights in prayer."


Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 285, Hakim, and Abu Dawud

... Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet of Allah (saaws) said, "And what is most likely to send people to Paradise? Being conscious of Allah and good manners."


Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 290, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad

... Nawas ibn Sam'an reported that the Prophet of Allah, saaws, was asked about doing good and evil. He replied, "Doing good is having good manners. Doing evil is what troubles you inside and what you would not like others to know about."



Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners # 296, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Darimi, Abu 'Awanah, Hakim, and Ibn Hibban.


The Prophet of Allah, saaws, said, "He who does not show mercy to our young or show esteem for our elders is not one of us."
[/b]

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #360, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, and Hakim

[Mujaahid]

AVOID FOUL LANGUAGE:

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“What the ———-!” “Hey you, ———-, how are you?” “Where in the ——– have you been?”

If you listen to the conversation of the average Muslim youth talking to each other, unfortunately this is what you will hear…….expletives, bad words and cusses. In fact, foul language is often heard as part of their everyday life at school, universities and work place.

What’s worse is that they use these words without thinking…..without remorse and without even realizing that these words are obscene, filthy or repulsive….using four letter words in every sentence and in every conversation.

Using the words ‘hell’ and calling each other ‘dog’ and ‘gay’ like it’s nothing. And these are some of the more ‘decent’ words. There are other, much worse words that are totally unmentionable. May Allaah protect us.

These people, like their non-Muslim peers, seem to be completely desensitized to the use of fouland offensive words, including many that make others cringe with shame and embarrassment.

Yet, when you reprimand them for using such language, what do they say? “O come on! This is how everyone talks!” or “This is how I ‘express’ myself. or “We don’t mean it in a bad way, we’re just joking around with each other!”
Subhaan Allaah! Calling each other bad names and using foul language!

Since when did that become a ‘joke’? Since when did cussing become part of a Muslim’s vocabulary?

And, sad to say, not only the youth, but even some of the adults are guilty of the same. And, there are some, who may speak very decently under ‘normal’ circumstances, but when they are provoked or they get into a fight with someone, nothing comes out of their mouths except cusses, bad words and filth.


What a stark contrast between this and what the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to do.

The behavior of the Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam)
Anas bin Malik said: “The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) was not one who would abuse (others) or say obscene words, or curse (others)…” (Bukhaari)

And Abdullah bin ‘Amr said: “The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) never used bad languageneither a ‘Faahish nor a Mutafaahish. He used to say ‘The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.’ (Bukhaari)


And he (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “The believer is not a slanderer, one who curses a great deal, one who indulges in obscenity or who in engages in foul talk.” (Tirmidhi– saheeh by al-Albaani)

What Allaah says about cussing:
“…..nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one’s brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother as: "O sinner", or "O wicked", etc.]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zaalimoon (wrong-doers). (Surah Hujaraat:11)

Hellfire because of cussing:
Realize, dear brother/sister, that using foul language and cussing is a sin, even in joke and this is a characteristic of the people of Hellfire.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“The inmates of Hell are of five types….” And among them he mentioned “…the miser, the liar and those who are in the habit of abusing people and using obscene and foul language.” (Muslim)

[Mujaahid]

And while advising Mu’aadh, (RA), the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Restrain this,” i.e., your tongue. I (Mu’aadh) said: O Messenger of Allaah, will we be called to account for what we say? He said: “May your mother be bereft of you, O Mu’aadh! Will people be thrown in Hell on their faces or their noses for anything other than the harvest of their tongues?” (al-Tirmidhi– Saheeh by al-Albaani)

The worst people on the Day of Judgment
Know that people who use bad words and have dirty mouths will be one of the worst people on the Day of Judgment.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “O ‘Aaishah! Have you ever seen me speaking a bad and dirty language? (Remember that) the worst people in Allah’s sight on the Day of Resurrection will be those whom the people desert or leave in order to save themselves from their dirty language or from their transgression.” (Bukhaari)

Cussing is evil
Cussing and swearing is so bad that even the angels cannot tolerate it.

Ibn ‘Abbas said, “Two men defamed one another in the time of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. One of them reviled the other who remained silent. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, remained seated. Then the other man answered him back and the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, got up. He was asked, “You got up?” He said, “The angels left, so I left with them. While this man was silent, the angels were answering the one who cursed him. When he answered, the angels left.” (Adab al-Mufrad


It is a sin
Someone asked:
“What should be done with a person who calls a Muslim a dog, pig, or other offensive word? Is it a sin?”
Imaam an-Nawawi said: “It is a sin and he should be punished (ta’zeer – punishment to be specified by the qaadi/Muslim judge). He also has to repent.” (Fataawa al-Imaam al-Nawawi)

Subhaan Allaah! Being punished for calling your Muslim brother ‘dog’! And yet, we hear our youth calling each other ‘dog’ and ‘nigga’ and much worse, in every sentence, while they think nothing,absolutely nothing of it!

What would Imaam an-Nawawi say if he heard some of the Muslims talking today?!!

What to do?


The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said: “Whoever believes in God the Last Day must speak good or keep silent.” (Bukhaari)

1. Remember these beautiful words of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) and either speak good or keep quiet.

2. Stay away from foul language, cussing and evil words, because YOU are a Mu’min and a Mumin does not utter filthy words or cuss at anyone.

3. Equally important is to stay away from people who speak such bad language. Because themore you hear it, the more desensitized one becomes to its evil, until a time comes when its not bad anymore.

In the end:

Bad words show disrespect to those being spoken to and a total lack of self-respect. The one who stays away from filthy language is not being a prude or old-fashioned; rather he /she is a Mu’min and a follower of the one with the best manners ever…that is, the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam). Use of such evil words is disrespectful, plain and simple. It is not to be tolerated nor is it an acceptable behavior in Islam.


"Truly a man utters words to which he attaches no importance, and by them he falls into the Fire of Jahannam, and truly a man utters words to which he attaches no importance, and by them Allah raises him into the Garden.” (Bukhaari)

[Mujaahid]

[Mujaahid]

Saying that you love your brothers and friends is part of the etiquette of keeping righteous company, and is a noble and good characteristic.





Telling people that you love them increases the bonds of love and strengthens the ties among Muslims.

It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that a man was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when another man passed by and he said: O Messenger of Allaah, I love this man. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him: “Have you told him?” He said: No. He said: “Tell him.” So he caught up with him and said: I love you for the sake of Allaah. He said: May the one for Whose sake you love me also love you. Narrated by Abu Dawood (no. 5125) and classed as saheeh by al-Nawawi in Riyadh al-Saaliheen (183) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. In some reports of the hadeeth it says: “Tell him for it will strengthen the love between you.” Narrated by Ibn Abi’l-Dunya in al-Ikhwaan (69).

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

That is because this word will instil love in his heart, because if a person knows that you love him, he will love you, even though hearts may recognize and love one another without actually speaking, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.” But if a person says it with his tongue, this will increase the love in the heart, so you should say: “I love you for the sake of Allaah.” End quote.

Sharh Riyadh al-Saaliheen.

It was narrated that al-Miqdaam ibn Ma’di Yakrib (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you loves his brother, let him tell him.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2392) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (417).

It was narrated from ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn ibn ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you loves his brother for the sake of Allaah, let him tell him, for it does good and makes the love last.”

Shaykh al-Albaani said in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (1199):

It was narrated by Wakee’ in al-Zuhd (2/67/2) with a saheeh isnaad from ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn in a marfoo’ report.

I (al-Albaani) say: ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn is the grandson of ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib; he is thiqah jaleel (honest and great man) one of the men of the two Shaykhs (al-Bukhaari and Muslim). So it is mursal with a saheeh isnaad.

There is corroborating evidence in the hadeeth of Mujaahid which is also mursal; this was narrated by Ibn Abi’l-Dunya in Kitaab al-Ikhwaan and in al-Fath al-Kabeer (1/67). There is another corroborating report from Yazeed ibn Na’aamah al-Dubbi, which I narrated in the other book (1726). When all the isnaads are taken into account, the hadeeth is hasan, in sha Allaah. End quote.

What is meant here is that it is mustahabb; it is not obligatory.

Al-Manaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“Let him tell him that he loves him for the sake of Allaah” means, it is mustahabb for him to tell him, by saying I love you for the sake of Allaah, i.e., not for any other reason such as kindness and so on, because it ensures that the bond will last longer and makes love stronger, and it increases and multiplies love, and brings people together, thus the Muslims will be united, and troubles and grudges will be dispelled. This is one of the good features of Islam. "

Fayd al-Qadeer (1/319).

[Mujaahid]

HOW TO GIVE AN EXAM:




Praise be to Allaah and peace and blessings be upon the Messenger and upon his family and companions.

The Muslim student puts his trust in Allaah when facing the tests of this world, and he seeks His help whilst following the prescribed means, in accordance with the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):

“The strong believer is better and is more beloved to Allaah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive to attain that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allaah, and do not feel helpless.” (Saheeh Muslim, hadeeth no. 2664)

Among those means are the following:

Turning to Allaah by making du’aa’ in any way that is prescribed in Islam, such as saying, “Rabbiy ishrah li sadri wa yassir li amri (O my Lord, expand my chest and make things easy for me).”

Getting used to sleeping early and going to exams on time.

Preparing all required or permitted equipment such as pens, rulers and setsquares, calculators and watches, because being well prepared helps one to answer questions.

Reciting the du’aa’ for leaving the house: “Bismillaah, tawakkaltu ‘ala Allaah, wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah. Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika an adilla aw udalla, aw azilla aw uzalla, aw azlima aw uzlama, aw ajhala aw yujhala ‘alayya (In the name of Allaah, I put my trust in Allaah, and there is no strength and no power except with Allaah. O Allaah, I seek refuge with You lest I should stray or be led astray, lest I slip (commit a sin unintentionally) or be tripped, lest I oppress or be oppressed, lest I behave foolishly or be treated foolishly).”Do not forget to seek your parents’ approval, for their du’aa’ for you will be answered.


Mention the name of Allaah before you start, for mentioning the name of Allaah is prescribed when beginning any permissible action; this brings blessing, and seeking the help of Allaah is one of the means of strength.

Fear Allaah with regard to your classmates, and do not be affected by their anxiety or fear just before the exam, for anxiety is a contagious disease. Instead, make them feel optimistic by saying good words as prescribed in Islam. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was optimistic when he heard the name of Suhayl (which means “easy”) and he said: “Things have been made easy for you.” He used to like to hear the words ‘Yaa Raashid, when he went out for any purpose. So be optimistic that you and your brothers will pass this exam.

Remembering Allaah (dhikr) dispels anxiety and tension. If something is too difficult for you, then pray to Allaah to make it easy for you. Whenever Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) found something too difficult to understand, he would say, “O You Who taught Ibraaheem, teach me; O You Who caused Sulaymaan to understand, cause me to understand.”

Choose a good place to sit during the exam, if you can. Keep your back straight, and sit on the chair in a healthy manner.


Look over the exam first. Studies advise spending 10% of the exam time in reading the questions carefully, noting the important words and dividing one’s time between the questions.

Plan to answer the easy questions first, then the difficult ones. Whilst reading the questions, write notes and ideas which you can use in your answers later.

Answer questions according to importance.

Start by answering the easy questions which you know. Then move on to the questions which carry high marks, and leave till the end the questions to which you do not know the answers, or which you think will take a long time to produce an answer or which do not carry such high marks.

Take your time to answer, for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:[b] “Deliberation is from Allaah and haste is from the Shaytaan.” (A hasan hadeeth. Saheeh al-Jaami, 3011).[/b][/color]

Think carefully about the answer and choose the right answer when answering multiple-choice questions. Deal with them in the following manner. If you are sure that you have chosen the right answer, then beware of waswasah (insinuating whispers from the Shaytaan). If you are not sure, then start by eliminating the wrong or unlikely answers, then choose the correct answer based on what you think is most likely to be correct. If you guessed at a correct answer then do not change it unless you are sure that it is wrong – especially if you will lose marks for a wrong answer. Research indicates that the correct answer is usually that which the student thinks of first.

In written exams, collect your thoughts before you start to answer. Write an outline for your answer with some words which will indicate the ideas which you want to discuss. Then number the ideas in the sequence in which you want to present them.
Write the main points of your answer at the beginning of the line, because this is what the examiner is looking for, and he may not see what he is looking for if it is in the middle of the page and he is in a hurry.

Devote 10% of the time for reviewing your answers. Take your time in reviewing, especially in mathematical problems and writing numbers. Resist the desire to hand in the exam papers quickly, and do not let the fact that some people are leaving early bother you. They may be among the people who have handed in their papers too early.

If you discover after the exam that you answered some questions incorrectly, then take that as a lesson in the importance of being well prepared in the future, and not rushing to answer questions. Accept the will and decree of Allaah and do not fall prey to frustration and despair. Remember the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “If anything befalls you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such.’ Rather say, ‘Qadar Allaah wa maa sha’a kaan (the decree of Allaah and what He wills happened),’ for saying ‘if only’ opens the door for the Shaytaan.” (Saheeh Muslim, and the first part of this hadeeth was mentioned above).


Note that cheating is haraam whether it is in foreign language tests or any other tests. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Whoever cheats is not one of us.” It is wrongdoing and it is a haraam means of attaining a degree or certificate, etc., that you have no right to. The consensus is that cheating is a kind of cooperation in sin and transgression. So do without that which is haraam, and Allaah will suffice you from His bounty. Reject all offers of haraam things that come to you from others. Whoever gives up a thing for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better. You have to denounce and resist evil, and tell the authorities about any such thing that you see during the exam, or before or after it. This is not the forbidden kind of slander rather it is denouncing evil which is obligatory.

Advise those who buy or sell questions or post them on the Internet etc., or who prepare cheat notes. Tell them to fear Allaah, and tell them of the ruling on what they are doing and on the money they earn from that. Tell them that the time they are spending in preparing these haraam things, if they spent it in studying, or answering previous exams, or helping one another to understand the subject before the exam, that would be better for them than doing these haraam things.

- Remember what you have prepared for the Hereafter, and the questions of the examination in the grave, and how to be saved on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever is saved from the Fire and admitted to Paradise will indeed have succeeded.

We ask Allaah to make us succeed in this world and cause us to be among those who are victorious and saved in the Hereafter, for He is the All-Hearing Who answers prayer.


Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

[Ummati]

Nice one on the exams!

JazakAllah.

[Mujaahid]

Haya is an Arabic word derived from the word hayat, which means life.
This term covers a wide number of concepts. In English, it may be translated as modesty, shyness, self-respect, bashfulness, shame, honor, humility, etc. The original meaning of haya refers to a bad and uneasy feeling accompanied by embarrassment, caused by one's fear of being exposed for some unworthy or indecent conduct.

Islamically, haya is an attribute which encourages believers to avoid anything distasteful. It keeps them from being neglectful in giving others what is due upon them, and if for any reason they are not able to keep up with their commitments, then they will feel extremely uncomfortable and ashamed about this. The main reason for this uncomfortable feeling would be the knowledge that they had displeased Allah.

Haya plays a huge role in the lives of Muslims because it is a very important part of our Iman (faith/belief). If we do not have any form of haya within us then it is most likely that our Iman is very weak. It states in the following hadith:

Narrated by Abu Huraira (ra): The Prophet (SAW) said, "Faith (Belief) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts). And Haya is a part of faith." (Bukhari)

We also learn from the Prophet (saw) the importance of having haya and how it is not something to be ashamed of, but instead, one should be concerned and embarrassed if they do not possess it within their character.

Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar (ra): The Prophet (saw) passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding Haya and was saying, "You are very shy, and I am afraid that might harm you." On that, Allah's Apostle (SAW) said, "Leave him, for Haya is (a part) of Faith." (Bukhari)

The above hadith is also a form of proof that "shyness" is not just something regarding women but also an attribute that believing men should have, for it is an indication of their fear of Allah and an indication of the value of their Deen.

We often find that shyness, humility and bashfulness are frowned upon by our society as a weakness or a lack of confidence when, in fact, these are qualities of a dignified upright human being, who is conscious of his actions and his responsibilities in life.

There are two different types of haya—the good haya and the bad.

The good haya is to be ashamed to commit a sin or a thing which Allah and His Messenger (saw) has forbidden. The bad haya is to feel ashamed to do a thing which Allah and His Messenger (saw) has ordered us to do.

There are different types of good haya.

For example, a believer should build his personality and character with the good dimensions of haya. The most important is that he must be shy of doing ANYTHING displeasing to Allah (SWT) with the belief that he will have to answer for all his deeds. If one develops a sense such as this one, it will help the believer to obey all of Allah's commandments and to stay away from sins.

Once the believer realizes that Allah (SWT) is watching us all the time and we will have to answer to every move we make in this dunya (world), he would not neglect any order from Allah or His Messenger (saws). So the stronger this sense of haya becomes, the more it motivates one to make sure that Allah (SWT) doesn't see him doing anything prohibited. The way to develop this haya is that one must keep learning and absorbing more knowledge and applying it to his life. Another type of haya is more of a social aspect concerning others besides Allah (SWT). Normally these things often come in regard with one's relationship with family. For instance, a child not wanting to do something displeasing to his mother, or a wife not wanting to do something displeasing to her husband, or even a student who is careful about saying something incorrect in front of his teacher are all forms of haya.

Last but not least is the type of haya in which the believers become shy of themselves. This is when they have reached the peak of their Iman. For example, if they do, say, or see anything wrong or even commit the tiniest sin, they start to feel extremely bad and embarrassed or they feel extreme guilt in their hearts. This builds a high degree of selfconsciousness and that is what strengthens a Muslim's commitment to Allah (SWT).

After discussing the various types of "beneficial" haya, it is time to discuss the type of haya which is not only against the teachings of our Prophet (saw), but it is also solid proof of the weakness of someone's Iman. This negative aspect revolves around a person's shamefulness or shyness of doing something that Allah (SWT) has ordered us to do through the Qur'an or our Prophet's (saw) Sunnah.

This constitutes the shamefulness or embarrassment of doing a lawful act or something that is ordered upon us from Allah (SWT). This means that someone does not follow an obligation of Islam due to the fact of being shy in front of others about it. This is totally forbidden because then one is giving the people of this dunya more respect than the One who Created this whole universe.
An example of this type of bad haya is to neglect making one's prayer in a public place due to being embarrassed in front of others. Another example would be that many sisters feel embarrassed to wear hijab for fear of being laughed at or made fun of. If someone really had haya they would never contradict ANYTHING that Allah (SWT) has ordained upon us even if they found it a test and a trial.

Modesty (haya) and maintaining one's honor and dignity are of primary importance in preserving the moral fiber of any society. This is why modesty has been called the ornament of a woman, which protects her from many sins and which prevents ill-intentioned men from daring to have bad thoughts about her. This haya has been made a part of her nature to safeguard her from being abused by immoral men.

Haya is a special characteristic of a Mu'min (believing, practicing Muslim). Haya and Iman are interdependent; therefore either they both exist together or they both perish. The Prophet (saw) has said in one hadith, "When there is no haya left, then do as you please."

There are many wonderful benefits of haya.

First, Allah (SWT) loves haya. We know this by the following hadith: "Surely Allah (is One who) has haya and is the Protector. He loves haya and people who cover each other's faults." (Bukhari)

Secondly, haya itself is a greatness of Islam as our Prophet (saw) indicated: "Every way of life has a innate character. The character of Islam is haya." [/b]Or "Every deen has an innate character. The character of Islam is modesty (haya)." (Abu Dawood)

Third, haya only brings good and nothing else. Our Prophet (saw) said: "Haya does not bring anything except good." (Bukhari)

Fourth, Haya is a very clear indication of our Iman. As the Prophet (saw) had mentioned to the Ansar who was condemning his brother about being shy: "Leave him, for Haya is (a part) of Faith." (Bukhari)

Last, Haya leads us to PARADISE. As the Prophet (saw) told us: "Haya comes from Iman; Iman leads to Paradise. Obscenity comes from antipathy; and antipathy leads to the fire." (Bukhari)

As mentioned before, since the actual word Haya is derived from Hayat, which means life, it is only obvious that when someone has Haya in them, they will live a life of Islam. On the other hand if they do not have Haya they are living a life that is dead "Islamically", but alive according to this dunya.

The Prophet (saw) said: "Haya and trustworthiness will be the first to go from this world; therefore keep asking Allah for them." (Baihaqi)

[Mujaahid]

Relieve Your Heart: Think Well of Others


Nothing relieves the heart and makes one happy more than thinking well of others. It protects one from the harm of worrisome thoughts that disturb his peace of mind and exhaust the body.

Thinking well of others leads to a sound heart, strengthens the ties of cordiality and love among the individuals of a community, and frees the hearts from hatred and rancor. Prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him, said:

“Beware of assumptions, for assumption is the falsest of speech, and do not be inquisitive, and do not spy upon one another, and do not vie with one another, and do not envy one another, and do not hate one another, and do not shun one another; be fellow-brothers and slaves of Allah.” (Al-Bukhari: Book 8 Vol. 73 Hadith 92)

If only the members of the Muslim community would adhere to this sublime behavior, their enemies would never dare to attack them and their famous policy of “divide and rule” will never succeed because the hearts are united and the souls are pure.

Supplication

There are certainly many ways that a Muslim can think well of others, supplicating to Allah is one of them; the gate to every goodness. The Prophet, peace be upon him, would ask his Lord to grant him a sound heart.

In the Place of Others

If each one of us puts himself in the place of his brother when the latter does or says something, this will help him think well of others. Allah directs His slaves to this meaning: “Why, when you heard it [the falsehood against `Aa'ishah may Allah be pleased with her], did not the believing men and believing women think good of one another?”[An-Nur, 24:12]

In another verse God makes the believers feel as if they are one single entity, to the extent that when one of them meets his brother and greets him, it is as if he is greeting himself: “But when you enter houses, give greetings of peace upon yourselves - a greeting from Allah.” [An-Nur, 24:61]

Interpreting the Words of Others in the Best Way PossibleInterpreting the words of others in the best possible way was the habit of the righteous predecessors. ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “Do not think ill of a word that your believing brother utters as long as it can be interpreted in a good way.”

Thinking well of others is true brotherhood, even in things that cannot be interpreted in a good way.
Imam Ash-Shafi`i, may Allah have mercy upon him, was ill once, and some of his brothers came to visit him; one of them said: “May Allah strengthen your weakness [He intended to supplicate to Allah in order to eliminate his weakness].”

Ash-Shaafi‘i said: “If Allah strengthens my weakness, it would kill me!”

The man said: “By Allah, I intended nothing but goodness.”

Ash-Shaafi‘i replied: “Even if you insulted me, I know that you sought goodness.”

Thinking well of others is true brotherhood, even in things that cannot be interpreted in a good way.

Making Excuses for Others

When anyone says or does something that annoys or grieves one, he should try to find excuses for him and recall the status of the righteous who used to think well of their fellows and make excuses for them. They would say: “You should make seventy excuses for your brother.”

Ibn Serene, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: “

If you come to know that a brother has harmed you with either a word or a deed, you should make an excuse for him; if you did not find one, you should say: ‘There may be an excuse that I do not know of.’”

When you exert your utmost to make excuses for the words and deeds of others, you will save yourself the trouble of assuming and you will avoid blaming your fellows excessively.

Abstaining from Judging the Intentions of Others

Abstaining from judging the intentions of others is one of the greatest causes that help one think well of others. One leaves the intentions to the only One who knows them: Allah for He did not command us to check each others' hearts and intentions, and thus we have to avoid harboring ill-thoughts about others.

Recalling the Harmful Consequences of Evil Assumptions
The one who thinks ill of others lives in endless trouble and grief, to say nothing of the fact that he loses all those who socialize with him, even the closest people to him. It is natural that people make mistakes, even unintentionally. Accusing others along with thinking well of oneself is one of the evil consequences of thinking ill of others. This is one way a person may be guilty of ascribing purity to oneself that Allah forbade in His Book: “So do not claim yourselves to be pure; He is most knowing of who fears Him.” [An-Najm, 53:32]

In another verse, Allah criticizes the Jews when they ascribed purity to themselves:“Have you not seen those who claim themselves to be pure? Rather, Allah purifies whom He wills, and injustice is not done to them, [even] as much as a thread [inside a date seed].” [An-Nisa’, 4:49]


Thinking well of others requires extensive training and striving against one’s self, particularly because the devil is inseparable from man like the blood that runs through his body. He never stops his attempts to sow dissension within the Muslims and stir up disputes among them. Thinking well of others is one of the greatest means to block this way before the devil. We ask Allah to grant us sound hearts and Help us to think well of our brothers and sisters.


Source: Islam Web.net

[Ummati]

An excellent reminder, masha Allah.

[Mujaahid]

Lowering the Gaze

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Lowering one’s gaze is one of the most important things that a Muslim should do to protect himself from the punishment of Allah. Every sincere Muslim should spare no pains in this regard and should take practical steps to guard his gaze and overcome his weakness.

In regards to tips on lowering the gaze, prominent Muslim scholar Sheikh Muhammad Salih Al-Munajjid states:

Shari`ah came to forbid the ways that lead to immorality, one of which is looking at non-mahram (a mahram is a non-marriageable relative) women. Almighty Allah says: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)” (An-Nur:30)
I
n his commentary on this verse, Imam Ibn Kathir wrote: "This is a command from Allah to His believing slaves to lower their gaze and refrain from looking at that which is forbidden to them. So they should not look at anything except that which they are permitted to look at, and they should lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things. If it so happens that a person’s gaze accidentally falls upon something forbidden, he should quickly avert his gaze."

It was narrated that Jarir ibn `Abdullah said: “I asked the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) about an accidental glance, and he commanded me to avert my gaze.” (Muslim)

Imam An-Nawawi said: "What is meant by an “accidental glance” is when a person’s glance unintentionally falls upon a non-mahram woman. There is no sin on him for the first glance, but he must avert his gaze immediately. If he averts his gaze immediately there is no sin on him, but if he continues looking, then he will be a sinner, because of this hadith, for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded him to avert his gaze, and Allah says: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)” (An-Nur: 30)

Men must lower their gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things in all circumstances, unless there is a valid reason, such as giving testimony, medical treatment, proposing marriage, engaging in financial transactions such as buying and selling, etc. In all these cases it is permissible to look as much as is required, and no more.



Ways to lower your gaze:

1 – Bearing in mind the fact that Allah is watching you, that He sees you and is with you (by His knowledge) wherever you go. It may be a secretive glance of which your closest neighbor is unaware, but Allah knows of it: “Allah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the hearts conceal.” (Ghafir:19)

2 – Seeking the help of Allah, beseeching Him and calling upon Him. Almighty Allah says: “And your Lord said: Invoke Me [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism) and ask Me for anything] I will respond to your (invocation).” (Ghafir: 60)

3 – You should know that every blessing you enjoy comes from Allah, and requires that you should give thanks for it. Part of being grateful for the blessing of sight means that you should protect it from looking at that which Allah has forbidden. Is there any reward for a good deed, other than good? “And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allah.” (An-Nahl: 53)

4 – Striving with your self and training yourself to lower your gaze and be patient in doing so, and never giving up. Allah says: “As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths.” (Al-`Ankabut: 69) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever seeks to be chaste, Allah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks to be independent of means, Allah will make him independent of means, and whoever strives to be patient, Allah will make him patient…” (Al-Bukhari)

5 – Avoiding places where a person feels he will be exposed to the temptation of looking, if he can manage to avoid them, such as going to marketplaces or malls, and sitting idle in the street. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Beware of sitting in the street.” They said, “We have no alternative; that is where we sit and talk.” He said, “If you insist on sitting there, then give the street its rights.” They said, “What are the rights of the street?” He said, “Lowering the gaze and refraining from causing offence…” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

6 – You should realize that you have no choice in this matter, regardless of what the circumstances are and no matter how great is the temptation or motive to do evil, and no matter what emotions and overwhelming desires stir within your heart. You must lower your gaze and refrain from looking at forbidden things in all places and at all times. You cannot use excuses such as the environment being corrupt, or justify your mistakes by saying that you are surrounded by temptation.

7 – Doing a lot of voluntary acts of worship, because doing a lot of them whilst also regularly doing the obligatory acts of worship is a means of protecting one's physical faculties. According to a hadith qudsi (Divine), Allah said: “… and My slave continues to draw close to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. And when I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask (something) of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it.” (Al-Bukhari)

8 – Remembering that the earth on which sin is committed will bear witness for or against us. Allah says:

“That Day it will declare its information (about all that happened over it of good or evil).” (Az-Zalzalah: 4)

9 – Bearing in mind some of the texts which forbid one from letting the gaze wander freely, such as the verse in which Allah says: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things).” (An-Nur: 30)

10 – Avoiding unnecessary looks, so that you only look at what is needed to look at, and you do not allow your gaze to wander right and left so that it falls upon something the effects and temptation of which cannot be got rid of quickly.

11 – Marriage is one of the most effective remedies. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whoever can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and in guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

11 – Remembering al-hur al-`een (maidens in Paradise), which will motivate you to be patient in avoiding that which Allah has forbidden, hoping to obtain this blessing. Allah said: “Companions of equal age.” (An-Naba': 33) And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "If a woman of the people of Paradise were to look out over the people of this earth, it would light up everything in between and fill it with fragrance, and the veil of her head is better than this world and everything in it.” (Al-Bukhari)

12 – Bearing in mind the shortcomings of the one who attracts you...

13 – Checking yourself from time to time and striving to make yourself lower your gaze whilst being patient, realizing that everyone makes mistakes.

14 – Thinking of the pain and regret that will result from this looking, and the negative effects of allowing one’s gaze to wander.

15 – Understanding the benefits of lowering one's gaze, as mentioned above.

16 – Bringing up this topic during meetings and gatherings, and explaining its dangers to others.

17 – Advising your relatives, telling them not to wear clothes that attract attention and show their beauty, such as how they dress, wearing bright colors, how they walk, speaking too softly, etc.

18 – Warding off passing thoughts and the whispers of Satan before they take hold and are acted upon. Whoever lowers his gaze after the first glance will be saved from innumerable problems, but if he continues to look he cannot be certain that seeds that will be difficult to remove, will not be planted in his heart.

19 – Being afraid of an evil end, and of a feeling of great regret at the point of death.

20 – Keeping the company of good people, because you are naturally affected by the characteristics of the people you mix with, and a person will follow the way of his close friend, and a friend will pull you to follow his way."

[Mujaahid]

[Mujaahid]

Beware of Suspicion


Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ahmad, and Ibn Hibban

... Abu Huraira, r.a., reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Be careful of suspicion, for it is the most mistaken of all speech. Do not spy on others, compete* among yourselves, envy one another, or despise one another. Rather, be servants of Allah and brothers!"

*There is nothing wrong with healthy competition, particularly in doing good deeds. This hadith refers to competion that destroys team play and equality, etc.)

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #1294

'Abd Allah said, "Sometimes a victim of robbery will become so suspicious [of everyone around him] that he will become worse than the thief."*

*In other words, his suspicions will lead him to doubt everyone until he has destroyed every one of his relationships.

It is permissible to call over a person and inform them of the facts, so that they will not be suspicious, as we see in the following hadith (narration).

Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #1293, Muslim and Abu Dawud

Anas reported that a man passed by while the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, was with one of his wives. The Prophet called the man and said, 'O So and so. This is my wife, so and so." The man replied, What I might have thought about another, I would never think about you." The Prophet, upon him be peace, said, "Shaytan [satan] will circulate through a person just like blood circulates [through one's veins]."

[Mujaahid]

Yawning.




Bukhari :: Book 8 :: Volume 73 :: Hadith 242

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “Allah likes sneezing and dislikes yawning, so if someone sneezes and then praises Allah, then it is obligatory on every Muslim who heard him, to say: May Allah be merciful to you (Yar-hamuka-l-lah). But as regards yawning, it is from Satan, so one must try one’s best to stop it, if one says ‘Ha’ when yawning, Satan will laugh at him.”
Muslim :: Book 42 : Hadith 7132

The son of Abu Said al-Khudri reported on the authority of his father that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said. When one of you yawns while engaged in prayer, he should try to restrain so far as it lies in his power, since it is the Satan that enter therein.
Muslim :: Book 42 : Hadith 7130

The son of Abu Said al-Khudri reported on the authority of his father that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: When one of you yawns, he should keep his mouth shut with the help of his hand, for it is the devil that enters therein.
Muslim :: Book 42 : Hadith 7129

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The yawning as from the devil. So when one of you yawns he should try to restrain it as far as it lies in his power.
Bukhari :: Book 4 :: Volume 54 :: Hadith 509

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of you (during the act of yawning) should say: ‘Ha’, Satan will laugh at him.”

[Mujaahid]

What is permissible and what is not?

What is considered free mixing?
- Men and women are permitted to be in the same place. (i.e. shops, streets etc)
- Men and women should avoid situations where they are crowded together or seated together.
- Repetitive acquaintance should be avoided to prevent familiarity.
- Business like discussion between man and woman is permissible when necessary.
Why is it like this?
- Prevention of intimate relationships developing outside of marriage.
- Prevention of gossip and slander that can destroy relationships and families.
- Prevention of one party "falling in love" and being hurt.
- Prevention of children being born outside of marriage.
- Prevention of families being broken up.
The Evidence

Allah says: "Nor come nigh to adultery".

Allah says: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them." and says: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty." [Noble Quran 24:30-31]

Allah says: "And when you ask the ladies for anything, ask them from behind a screen. That makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs." [Noble Quran 33:53]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) forbade men and women from being alone together. He said: "Never is a man alone with a woman except that Satan is the third party with them."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "Do not enter into the company of women." A man then asked him: "What about her male in-laws?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "The in-law is the most dangerous".

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said: "It is better for one of you to be pierced by a steel pin in his head than to touch the hand of a strange woman."

Allah says: "Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak with a speech (that is) proper." [Noble Quran 33:32].

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Any woman who puts on perfume then goes and passes by some men to let them find her scent is a type of adulteress." [Musnad Ahmad, Tirmidhi]

Umm Salamah said: "When the Prophet (peace be upon him) completed the prayer, the women would get up to leave. He would then wait awhile before standing." Ibn Shahab said: "I believe that he waited for a while to give the women an opportunity to depart before the men." [Sahih al-Bukhari]

It was related in al-Bukhari that women at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not circumambulate the Ka'bah along with the men. `A'ishah used to go around the Ka'bah at a good distance from the men and avoided mixing with them. Once another woman bade to her to go forward with her so they could touch the corner of the Ka'bah. `A'ishah refused to do so. [Sahih al-Bukhari]
One of `Ayshah's handmaidens came to her and said: "O Mother of believers, I went around the Ka'bah seven times and touched the corner twice or trice". `Ayshah replied: "May Allah not reward you for pushing your way through men. It would have been sufficient for you to you to say "Allah Akbar" as you passed by". [Musnad al-Shafi'i]

Punishment for Zina

In this life


Fornication is 100 lashes
"The male and female who commit fornication -flog each of them with one hundred lashes, and let not compassion for the two of them keep you from complying with Allah's religion, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a group of believers witness their punishment." [Noble Quran 24:2]

Adultery is death

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "It is not permitted to shed the blood of any Muslim .... Except in three cases: a soul for a soul, the married person who commits adultery, and the one who forsakes his religion..." [Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "When someone commits Zina or drinks wine, Allah removes his faith from him, just as a person takes his shirt off over his head"

In the Hereafter

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not speak to nor look at nor purify three types of people: an old man who commits Zina, a lying king and a vainglorious poor person...."

The Prophet said: "We went on and arrived near a pit which was like and oven, out of which we could hear cries. We glanced into it and naked men and women, who cried out when the flames reached them from below. I asked: 'Who are these, O Gabriel?' He replied, 'Males and females who have committed fornication.'" [Bukhari]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:"If someone commits Zina with a married women, in the grave there will be a punishment on him and on her equal to half the punishment of this Ummah...."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The man who has laid his hand with lust on a woman who is not permissible to him will come on the Day of Judgment with his hand tied to his neck. If he kissed her, his lips will be cut in the Fire, and if he had sexual intercourse with her, his private parts will speak against him in the Day of Judgment saying: 'I did what was forbidden.' Allah Most High will look at him with anger, and the flesh on his face will sag and he will look haggard and old. He will say: 'What did I do?' His tongue will witness against him saying, 'I said what was forbidden'; his hands will speak and say, 'We reached for what was forbidden'; each of his feet will say. 'I went to a forbidden place.'; and his private parts will say, 'I did it.' An one of the guardian angels will say, 'I heard it.' and the other guardian angel will say, 'I wrote it,' and Allah Most High will say, 'I knew it but I concealed it.' Then He will say 'My angels, take him and give him a taste of My punishment. Great is My anger against the man who had so little shame towards Me!'"


MAY ALLAH SAVE US ALL!!! AMEEN